The Victim

Events crash on our unprotected heads
And we scramble and struggle to survive
Awaiting the inevitable onslaught of the next affliction or accident

But to purposely chase contentment away and welcome difficulty
Is for some of us, a life’s design with distinct advantage
Since it restores a comfort born of pain
And can pacify guilt found in early adversity

A pattern, starting with an invalid expectation of universal approval and acceptance
Planned for with torment and worry
Failing because of uncontrolled negativity and inauthentic warmth
Advancing to the creation of an impractical fight with imagined stupidity and entrenched bureaucracy

A delusional conception
That explains the rejection and exclusion
Burying the truth, hiding its pain
And quieting the need for additional candid explanations

Its not me failing,
Its the world not understand and condemning me
I am the heroine
Accepting the slings and arrows of my painful sainthood